Delia was rescued from the depths of a dress-up box in a Prep classroom situated in the middle of a jungle that consisted only of lemon trees and 8-foot-high dandelions. She had contracted many diseases including lollipop-stick measles, snotty-faced fever, Lego pimples, crayon lice, and scurvy. Google revealed that a raspberry and abalone-infused bath would exclusively cure all of those diseases; Yahoo foolishly suggested antibiotics. So upon relocating to New York, Delia paid the only person who knew what abalone was – the Asian grocer beneath her Chinatown apartment – to acquire supplies for her bath, then quietly snuck through a window into a 3-star hotel room down the road to indulge herself in a fruity seafood medicinal bath because no way in hell was she going to have that smell linger in her apartment for the next eight months.
Photography: Nick Allchin
After the 90s, a law was passed in Belarus that declared all same-denim relationships illegal, therefore Vlad was forced to divorce his acid-wash wife after 10 years of marriage. Regardless, she was a progressive spirit; she was already halfway out the door with a blue shirt that resembled chambray, but legally passed as a regular blue shirt (Vlad was always aware of corruption in the government’s denim department). When Vlad finally arrived in Melbourne after a tumultuous journey of self-discovery, he found himself to be more socially awkward than he anticipated upon legally interacting with other denim items again. However, he came to the realisation in his heart that he had actually moved on. The rock and roll lifestyle of the black denim crowd seemed far more attractive, and Vlad figured that if he’s considered vintage now, he better start hanging with the cool kids.